I Used to Shrug off People saying the Church Hurt Them.... Until it Happened to Me. Now I Have a Different Perspective.

So I turned my sword away from the church, stuck it right in Satan's nasty throat, and with a twist muttered "Sorry buddy, you don't win here."

I used to shrug off people telling me how much they'd been hurt by the church. Assuming it was absolutely them and their insecurities, not the church, I listened with half an ear wondering what the ACTUAL true story was the whole time they were telling me. Until it happened to me.

First of all, I have come to the conclusion I never want to hear "the church hurt me" as a cover up for "a handful of people hurt me" ever again. One or two people do not come close to possessing enough power to make up the entire church so we can be honest here and directly say _______ from my church hurt me instead of the church hurt me.

Believe me, Love, I know how nasty people can be. People spew venom and cut each other's throats to get ahead everyday. People sell their own loved ones out to get a glimpse of fame. People backstab, people lie, people cheat, and people desecrate your self worth....well they try to anyway. So why does it hurt us 100 billion times worse when it involves someone we go to the same church as?

We go to church because we love God and we want to be around other people who love God and share the same values. So we EXPECT those in church with us to be good to us. Well, Love,..... people who are in church and people who aren't in church wipes their butts all the same. We're human. Nothing about walking through church doors makes any of us less of a human. And you know where the rest of that story goes. People are people, we all make mistakes, yada yada, it's true.

When people I trusted and I looked up to the most in church cahooted behind my back and told my husband if he divorced me he could keep his position on staff there, I was devastated. It wasn't random, no, we were having issues, but it wasn't biblical either. In the initial moments I felt a betrayal that was beyond anything I'd ever felt in my life. "These people were supposed to be good to me". It was very real and very much in the process of developing pure hate towards the church. But perhaps I had placed unrealistic expectations?

I had a choice.

Was one betrayal really going to shatter my faith? Was one hard experience really going to ruin what God was doing here?

God didn't do this to me, a few people did.

The church didn't hurt me, a few people did.

So I turned my sword away from the church, stuck it right in Satan's nasty throat, and with a twist muttered "Sorry buddy, you don't win here."

If you have been hurt deeply by people in your church, don't give up. Don't let your walls go up so high that not even God is allowed in anymore. Dont let the walls build a fortress around you and keep people out for good. Boundaries are not fortresses. Boundaries are good, a fortress is bad.

Forgive them. Forgive them whether they're sorry or not sorry. Forgive them whether they care or don't care. Forgive them whether they justify it or don't justify it. It does not matter. Forgive them.

God still has a purpose for you. There are 80 billion people in this world. Set boundaries and keep enduring through life and maturing in Christ. You will find God works all things together for the good of those who love Him.

I used to shrug off people who were telling me they had been hurt by the church….until it happened to me

Listen to your friends and family who say they've been hurt by the church. Remind them that it wasn't the entire church, it was just a person or 2 in a world of 80 billion. Remind them it wasn't God who hurt them. Hear them out, they're really in pain no matter how big or small. Don't shrug it off. They're in the middle of a fight for their faith and your shrug could be the catalyst for a down spiral or your gentle ear could be turning point for their healing. Help turn their eyes back to Jesus and off of people. Remind them God is still there and He's working it out.