“The excitement becomes trapped in my paralyzing fears. All the words I longed to say to others are overwhelming my mind but unable to come out. Instead of an out of body experience it's an in-body experience. I wonder around, wide eyed with panic, praying so hard to become unstuck.
Trapped in myself, I go unnoticed. I miss the relationships. I don't get to hug. I silence my redemption story. I don't meet the new people, and they don't meet me. I'm robbed of everything I was meant to have.
What's wrong with me? Why can't I just be normal? I wanted so badly to be here. Am I not Christian enough? They probably think I don't like them. God, why am I like this?”
Religion and churches make me feel like we are helping the unfortunate to make ourselves feel better, to make ourselves feel powerful, to make a purpose for religion, regulations, rules, and a platform for ourselves. We are not meant to look out from the windows of a church and tell people "hey you're doing everything wrong".